Im writing this story from prison.
My name is Bhima. My brothers and I are also locked in here except Yudhishthira
and Nakula. I cannot express how angry I feel right now Brahmin. After we
helped you retrieve your belongings everything went south! I hope that you come visit me soon!
This is Brahmin. I will tell you
guys the story of the Pandavas and their obstacles of their lives.
I met the Pandavas about 2 years ago.
I was a forest man. I lived off of the forest for years. I was abandoned by my
parents in the forest when I was ten. It was hard for me to survive this long.
When my parent left me they had left a family picture in my back pocket. I have
carried that picture with me my whole life. One day I was bathing in the Oklahoma
River and as I was coming out of the water I saw a deer messing with my cloths.
He saw me coming out of the water and shot off with my pants stuck to one of
his antlers.
I mourned the loss of my picture.
It was all I had of my family. I walked around the forest for days searching
for this deer and one day I stumbled across a group of men. They were the
Pandavas. They were a group of five brothers called Yudhishthira, Bhima,
Nakula, Arjuna, and Sahadeva. They had been exiled from their kingdom and have
been rooming the forest fro years. I told them what had happened to me and I
explained. They told me they would be glas to help. I was full of excitement because
people normally do not approach me but these guys were more than glad to help
me!
The search began as soon as
possible. We searched for days and finally we found the dear. The brothers all
chased him for hours. While the brothers were running after the deer we noticed
that Yudhishthira did not not bother chasing after it. He just watched. The
brothers finally caught it but accidently killed it. No one really cared. To
them it was just a deer.
The
four brothers and I celebrated but then we heard yells coming from nearby. It
was an old man and he had asked who had killed the deer. We admitted to it and
we did not realize that it is illegal and punishable for 50 years to kill a
deer.
We
all went to prison but I was let out because the Pandavas explained how it was
me who killed the deer. I was let out and the first thing I did was look for
Yudhishthira. I found him and he told me he only had money to bail one brother.
He thought about who to let out for a few days and decided it would be Nakula.
The brothers were infuriated and had promised to revenge their brother’s betrayal.
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| Cover of comic book: Blogspot |
Author’s note
This
story seems different from the more common version of the story of the
Pandavas. This version of the story actually mentions and focus the other two
brothers Nakula and Sahadeva. This is the first time I actually hear other
brothers other than Yudhishthira, Bhima, and Arjuna. This comic begins with the
Pandavas in the forest exiled from their kingdom. Their first obstacle is to
regain some sticks important to the Brahmin from a golden deer who has managed
to run off with them. The Pandavas chase the deer for a long period of time.
They were very thirsty after the chase and needed to find water. Finding water
was also an obstacle. One brother found a lake first and was advised by a deity
not to drink or they would die. Consecutively one brother by one kept drinking
and dying. The only one who survived was Yuhishthira. He eventually was given
the choice to bring back one brother and he chose Nakula because Nakula and
Sahadeva are from a different mom and he thought it was best that one of them
should live. In my story I didn’t not necessarily
kill them but in prison them to represent that Yudhishthira chose Nakula above
the other brothers
This was great story! I really like the how your version of the story focuses on this exciting tale about retrieving the one thing that Brahmin cares about. That is so unfortunate that the Pandavas killed the deer and he still went to jail for it, but at least he got out pretty quick. I also feel bad for the Pandavas still locked away because they didn’t know it was against the law to kill the dear. This is pretty dramatic!
ReplyDeleteThis story was good at retelling it in a new way. However there were some typos, like in the begining you are missing the apostate in "I'm". Also, it's always good to add in some dialogue. Maybe in a flashback or something. Additionally, paragraph variation is always good as well. Most of yours are quite like long.
ReplyDeleteAnd, so if you vary the paragraphs into short paragraphs and also some long paragraphs it is both visually appealing and easier for the reader to read.
Alexis,
ReplyDeleteI’m glad you wrote a storytelling assignment on one of the comic books because I haven’t gotten a chance to read any of them. It was interesting seeing the different focus on the characters we didn’t read a lot about in the original epic. Your first sentence was a great introduction to how the story was going to be told. It really captured my attention. Great job!